Ive spent a couple of hours on Facebook today catching up with old friends and generally having fun.
At the moment a few of us are having a bit of an ongoing competition to see who can come up with the funniest/wittiest status lines. This has been going on since Thursday. I thought that I would share some with you as they have really made me howl today.
Matt: I just opened the door to a 6ft cockroach. It punched me in the face and told me to **** off. Apparently there is a nasty bug going round
Dee: The kids next door just asked me to have a water fight - so I thought Id come and update my staus while Im waiting for the kettle to boil
Me: Im changing my name to Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz as the only men I seem to attract are either cowards, have no heart or dont have a brain.
Me: I just checked my bank statements and I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life.....If I die tomorrow !
Me: Some people are under the impression that I think the world revolves around me. What utter nonsense. Everyone knows the world revolves around the sun.........which shines out of my arse!
Mark: I just asked my granny if she had seen my LSD pills that I left on the table. She said "Sod that. Have you seen that dragon in the kitchen?"
Debbie: just failed to stop a noisy fart leaking out in the queue at Tescos. Helloooooooooooo Asda
Ian: For sale. One parachute. Used once. Never opened. Small stain........
Tina: Freezing tempertures in Liverpool this morning. Reports say it was so cold a scouser was seen with his hands in his own pockets.
Matt: Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see us without an erection, make us a sandwich.
Matt: If you watch Thelma and Louise backwards,its about 2 women with a flying car who slowly realize their place is in the kitchen
Tina: So, is it too soon to ask Whoopie Goldberg if she's heard from Patrick Swayze yet?
Totally irreverant, not particularly PC, but I love every one of my "off the wall" friends x