Sunday, 21 March 2010

Giggles have set in AGAIN !!!!!!!!!!!

Ive spent a couple of hours on Facebook today catching up with old friends and generally having fun.

At the moment a few of us are having a bit of an ongoing competition to see who can come up with the funniest/wittiest status lines. This has been going on since Thursday. I thought that I would share some with you as they have really made me howl today.

Matt: I just opened the door to a 6ft cockroach. It punched me in the face and told me to **** off. Apparently there is a nasty bug going round

Dee: The kids next door just asked me to have a water fight - so I thought Id come and update my staus while Im waiting for the kettle to boil

Me: Im changing my name to Dorothy from The Wizard of Oz as the only men I seem to attract are either cowards, have no heart or dont have a brain.

Me: I just checked my bank statements and I have enough money to live comfortably for the rest of my life.....If I die tomorrow !

Me: Some people are under the impression that I think the world revolves around me. What utter nonsense. Everyone knows the world revolves around the sun.........which shines out of my arse!

Mark: I just asked my granny if she had seen my LSD pills that I left on the table. She said "Sod that. Have you seen that dragon in the kitchen?"

Debbie: just failed to stop a noisy fart leaking out in the queue at Tescos. Helloooooooooooo Asda

Ian: For sale. One parachute. Used once. Never opened. Small stain........

Tina: Freezing tempertures in Liverpool this morning. Reports say it was so cold a scouser was seen with his hands in his own pockets.

Matt: Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see us without an erection, make us a sandwich.

Matt: If you watch Thelma and Louise backwards,its about 2 women with a flying car who slowly realize their place is in the kitchen

Tina: So, is it too soon to ask Whoopie Goldberg if she's heard from Patrick Swayze yet?

Totally irreverant, not particularly PC, but I love every one of my "off the wall" friends x

Shhhhhh !!! Dont tell anyone but.............

Ever been guilty of doing this? It's usually because you have something you are so desperate to share with another person that you just cant keep it to yourself any longer - but you dont actually want it advertising in the national press at this stage.

So it's generally revealed to a close friend. Or at the very least, someone who is totally unconnected in any way, shape, or form to the "news" you are about to deliver.

And woops!!! I did it on Friday.

And double woops!!! It got repeated to someone else with the same caveat attached "Shhhh - dont tell anyone but Jaki just told me that she.............."

Bugger bugger bugger.

Thankfully it's not really about anyone else - it's about me. Well, no, it's sort of about someone else too, but probably not in the way you may think.

Sh*t -Im being too cryptic.

Anyway, needless to say this bit of "gossip" will probably be round the office by Wednesday at the latest. And Im wondering what is the best way to deal with the potential fall-out. And by fall-out I mean repercussions.

They wouldn't be horrendous - as it wasnt bitching or anything. Just that I may end up with a slightly red face and have now got to decide whether to brazen it out, or deny deny deny.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm !

If the person concerned hears this little snippet.......well things could go one of two ways.

I could be writing a blog next week with me dancing around like an idiot and very very happy.

Or I could be curled up al la Bridget Jones drinking vodka and listening to Chaka Khan.

I will keep the world posted. That is, if anyone has even got the remotest idea what Im wittering on about, and would have a clue whether they were following me or not.