Saturday, 13 March 2010


I can see me getting blacklisted in this village. And all it takes is one like minded individual to lead me astray.

Let me explain.........

What I like about this place is that although it's a very small and tightly knit community, it's also the sort of place where people actually do care about their neighbours without being "in your face" which is something I love.

My last home, well there was always someone knocking on the door to complain, have a whinge or pester me for something (it was a farm and we had 20 plus horses on there at livery) and the horse owners never really bothered to think (or care) about the fact that I worked a full week at my "day" job and wasnt actually there at their beck and call for minor whinges at 10pm on a week night when I was up at 5am the next morning. So this place is like a breath of fresh air.

This was brought home to me yesterday when Zoe (who lives a few doors up) came and knocked on my door as she was a bit worried that my car had been parked outside for 2 days and she hadnt seen me out and about. As it happens, I've got a bad back (an old riding injury which crops up every few years) and have been in agony with sciatica for a week and have been working at home since Wednesday rather than endure the trauma of being shaken all over the place driving my Land Rover to work every morning.

So I invited her in, and she was very sympathetic when she saw me hobbling around like a very very old lady. And I thanked her sincerely for being worried enough to check I was ok.

We sat down for a cup of tea and a natter, and I mentioned that a note had been posted through my door by another neighbour further up the road, inviting me to join the village "Womens Group".

This ended up with Zoe shrieking "How old do they think you are? 70?" before rolling about on the sofa almost crying with laughter when I handed her the flyer to read.

When I had first been verbally invited, it was made to sound like a rather fun thing to do "It's not like an old womens group" I was told "We can just all get together and have a laugh up at the cricket club when our husbands/boyfriends are out doing whatever THEY do - a bit like Loose Women on ITV - and we can chat and discuss things in a lighthearted and fun way" ......... so I actually thought that would be a good and informal way for me to get to know those people I haven't already met, whilst obviously enjoying a few beers and letting my hair down.


Zoe (between howls of laughter) started to read out the agendas for the weekly meetings. It's sadly a sort of a cross between the W.I. and something from a Nursing Home.

"Chair Aerobics????" she screamed.
"Well that might be handy for me at the minute" I laughed.
I admit her hysteria set me off and I ended up wheezing for breath inbetween clutching my back and telling her to stop before I slipped a disc.

She is very much like me - we have a similar sense of humour (bawdy at it's mildest) and both live on our own (her excuse being "I am NOT having that slob - her boyfriend of 10 years - living with me, I like my sanity too much")

When she got to the agenda for 7th April "Desert Island Essentials - what can you not live without" this then started a WHOLE list of things from Zoe that would most definately not be fit for the ears of what I suspect are going to be ladies in the 60 plus age bracket.

And it turns out that Zoe didnt get an invitation to join - probably, as she said, because all the women on the "committee" are nosy old busybodies who just invite "incomers" so that they can find out all about them and then tell everyone else next time they're in the post office. It also appears that Jean, who lives next door but one to me, hasn't been invited either.

We then decided that we would be far better off setting up our own village group for the "outcasts" such as herself, me, Jean, Chris, Glynis and the ladies from the Tea Shop who like nothing better than a bottle of vodka and a pizza and a good old laugh.

I spoke to Jean last night when I was out taking my dogs for a hobble and she was giggling about Zoe and her Desert Island essentials. I should give you a clue about the way Zoe's mind works when I tell you that for the meeting on 24 March, the theme is "Book Review - bring along a book you love or loath to discuss" and Zoe (between choking laughter) said she would give them all something to gossip about by taking along a copy of The Karma Sutra and watching all the slack jaws hit several pairs of support-hose-clad knees hehehehehe

I think this village is going to be a very fun place to live indeed :-)


  1. Oooh you must be careful what you say about 60-somethings - we're not all over the hill and likely to find the thought of chair aerobics rather thrilling! And we might surprise you with what we'd pack in a bag for a desert island. Just saying. To be honest, at 62 I feel positively juvenile compared with some residents of my village - and a good many of them are younger than me. But it's all down to attitude, I guess. (You should hear your Auntie M and I when we get together.)

    Seriously, your village group sounds much like the one in ours; wild horses couldn't drag me there. (I'd rather be out with the wild horses or, talking of same, listening to Patti Smith.) The spring highlight is the Easter Bonnet (design and make your own) competition. Pulleeeese.

    Hope your back is better soon and may here's to your breakaway group. May its meetings be filled with raucous laughter.

    PS How are the dog . . . ?

  2. hahaha sorry - no offence intended - I already learned my lesson when I referred to Aunty M as "my 60 something Aunty" ;-)
    Mental note to self: Stop saying "sixty something".

    My back is lots better thank you - in fact, it actually feels ok this morning, although I've yet to try bending down. It does this every time, and vanishes as suddenly as it appeared.

    The dogs are fine - although Lorrie is a bully around food and poor little Murf (who would share his last mouthful with anyone) is a bit confused by her snarling. But he is learning to get out of the way quickly.
    Apart from that, she has her paws well and truly under the table :-)


Thank you very much for taking the time to comment on my waffle. I'll reply when Im next online.