Top o' the morning to you !!! Happy St Paddy's Day

Here's to everyone out there with a smidgin' of the Oirish in 'em and everyone else who will be making SURE that they do today/tonight by downing a grand old helping of "The Black Stuff".

I, myself, am sitting here typing with a nice glass of Guinness "off the shelf" as I remember my Grandad always saying it tasted better than a cold one. I have to agree.

And I am also going to be enjoying an evening of "Father Ted". That show makes me laugh until my sides are hurting and the tears are rolling.

Most people in the UK know all about Father Ted - but just incase you dont......

Father Ted lives on Craggy Island (a cruddy little place off the coast of Southern Ireland) with Father Dougal (a bit like the village idiot in a cassock) and Father Jack (retired alcoholic priest who is wheelchair bound and who has a fear of nuns and swears a lot). They are looked after by Mrs Doyle the housekeeper who is obsessive compulsive about overfeeding everyone (a very Irish trait) and insisting everyone has "a nice cup of tea".

Some of my favourite quotes are:

Dougal: God, I've heard about those cults Ted. People dressing up in black and saying Our Lord's going to come back and save us all.
Ted: No, Dougal, that's us. That's Catholicism.
Dougal: Oh right.

Mrs Doyle: Now what would you say to a nice cup of tea father?
Father Jack: "FECK OFF CUP"

And if you haven't ever watched it and can cope with the madness, please have a look at the episodes on You Tube and see what you think.

And as it is St Patricks day, and the Irish are so very very funny - I am going to leave you with probably one of the funniest signs I have EVER seen.... and this is actually a genuine photo ...........

A picture of an Irish Scarecrow

Hahahahahaha

I can see me getting blacklisted in this village. And all it takes is one like minded individual to lead me astray.

Let me explain.........

What I like about this place is that although it's a very small and tightly knit community, it's also the sort of place where people actually do care about their neighbours without being "in your face" which is something I love.

My last home, well there was always someone knocking on the door to complain, have a whinge or pester me for something (it was a farm and we had 20 plus horses on there at livery) and the horse owners never really bothered to think (or care) about the fact that I worked a full week at my "day" job and wasnt actually there at their beck and call for minor whinges at 10pm on a week night when I was up at 5am the next morning. So this place is like a breath of fresh air.

This was brought home to me yesterday when Zoe (who lives a few doors up) came and knocked on my door as she was a bit worried that my car had been parked outside for 2 days and she hadnt seen me out and about. As it happens, I've got a bad back (an old riding injury which crops up every few years) and have been in agony with sciatica for a week and have been working at home since Wednesday rather than endure the trauma of being shaken all over the place driving my Land Rover to work every morning.

So I invited her in, and she was very sympathetic when she saw me hobbling around like a very very old lady. And I thanked her sincerely for being worried enough to check I was ok.

We sat down for a cup of tea and a natter, and I mentioned that a note had been posted through my door by another neighbour further up the road, inviting me to join the village "Womens Group".

This ended up with Zoe shrieking "How old do they think you are? 70?" before rolling about on the sofa almost crying with laughter when I handed her the flyer to read.

When I had first been verbally invited, it was made to sound like a rather fun thing to do "It's not like an old womens group" I was told "We can just all get together and have a laugh up at the cricket club when our husbands/boyfriends are out doing whatever THEY do - a bit like Loose Women on ITV - and we can chat and discuss things in a lighthearted and fun way" ......... so I actually thought that would be a good and informal way for me to get to know those people I haven't already met, whilst obviously enjoying a few beers and letting my hair down.

WRONG!!!!!

Zoe (between howls of laughter) started to read out the agendas for the weekly meetings. It's sadly a sort of a cross between the W.I. and something from a Nursing Home.

"Chair Aerobics????" she screamed.
"Well that might be handy for me at the minute" I laughed.
I admit her hysteria set me off and I ended up wheezing for breath inbetween clutching my back and telling her to stop before I slipped a disc.

She is very much like me - we have a similar sense of humour (bawdy at it's mildest) and both live on our own (her excuse being "I am NOT having that slob - her boyfriend of 10 years - living with me, I like my sanity too much")

When she got to the agenda for 7th April "Desert Island Essentials - what can you not live without" this then started a WHOLE list of things from Zoe that would most definately not be fit for the ears of what I suspect are going to be ladies in the 60 plus age bracket.

And it turns out that Zoe didnt get an invitation to join - probably, as she said, because all the women on the "committee" are nosy old busybodies who just invite "incomers" so that they can find out all about them and then tell everyone else next time they're in the post office. It also appears that Jean, who lives next door but one to me, hasn't been invited either.

We then decided that we would be far better off setting up our own village group for the "outcasts" such as herself, me, Jean, Chris, Glynis and the ladies from the Tea Shop who like nothing better than a bottle of vodka and a pizza and a good old laugh.

I spoke to Jean last night when I was out taking my dogs for a hobble and she was giggling about Zoe and her Desert Island essentials. I should give you a clue about the way Zoe's mind works when I tell you that for the meeting on 24 March, the theme is "Book Review - bring along a book you love or loath to discuss" and Zoe (between choking laughter) said she would give them all something to gossip about by taking along a copy of The Karma Sutra and watching all the slack jaws hit several pairs of support-hose-clad knees hehehehehe

I think this village is going to be a very fun place to live indeed :-)

At last.........

Due to my work committments, Ive not had a great deal of time to get online. And have also had a few "settling in" problems with Lorrie - ie. very upset tummy (her not me) and then discovered her and Murphy doing something they shouldnt be doing - ie. she had come into season (turns out - BIG SHOCK - she wasnt spayed as she was a show dog and the vet thinks that the upset of moving and everything else probably brought it on) and he hasn't been "done" so you can imagine the fun Ive had trying to stop them. He managed to "do the dirty deed" once (I was eating my dinner at the time and wondered what the pair of them were up to behind the sofa) at which point I shrieked and pulled him off - and then they were kept apart until she came out of season.

Now Im on the horns of a dilemma. They cant spay her until at least 4 weeks from the end of her season - and the vet has said that if she is carrying puppies then he would just "get rid of them" at the same time. And this one is keeping me awake at night as Im obviously looking at it that Murphy has scored a goal. Ive argued with myself, Im trying to be objective - but I don't know if I can do that to her.

Im a responsible dog owner and feel now that Ive been really irresponsible for not realising. My last bitch was spayed at 12 months old as I didnt want any unplanned puppies - there are enough dogs in the world that need homes. Murphy has never been castrated as (a) he has a bad reaction to anaesthetic and I was terrified he might die if I had him knocked out again (b) he has never been any trouble with straying or leg humping or fighting and has never been allowed to just run amok and be around unspayed bitched - plus he is actually very obedient and will come away if commanded (c) he's actually fathered planned litters before as he is well known in this area as a gun dog and his puppies are doing really well at field trials and working.

If Id realised what was going on (she showed no signs) Id have separated them right away. It was only the once - but once is enough as the saying goes.

So as you can imagine - Im in a real quandry.

Anyway - that aside - Lorrie is fantastic. The most placid collie Ive ever come across. And she follows me round like she has been here all her life. She loves the forest and the moors, and ignores the chickens at the farm (much to Murphys disgust). She is a real worker though, and the horses got a shock last night as it was the first time Ive introduced her to them and wasnt sure how she would react. She brought them in from the fields with me and was herding them into the stables (lucky for her they dont kick as she gave them both a bit of heel work when they went a bit too slowly for her liking hehe).



Lorrie






She is overweight (I suppose thats to be expected for a dog that has had virtually no exercise for a year) but Ive already noticed a distinct difference in her weight over the last week and a half as she is being walked 3 times a day and doing at least 10 miles of running - she is also on one meal a day (same as Murphy) and having no treats (apart from a huge leg bone that she can chew on).


Lorrie unconscious after her evening walk.

All in all I have found the perfect dog, and Murphy is totally in love with her. She is a bit of a bossy boots and pushes him around - but not in a nasty way - and more fool him, he lets her do it. And for the first time in almost 5 months, Im not worrying about my boy when I have to leave him, as yesterday I got home from work and the two of them were curled up together fast asleep...........on my bed (she knows how to open doors tee hee)

Some photos of where I live

Im not the best photographer in the world (as you will be able to tell from the photos) but I thought that I should upload all the pics from my phone to make room for all of the pics Im going to take of Lorrie tomorrow :-)

These were all taken yesterday and today (19 and 20 February 2010 after yet another snowfall).

This was across the road from my house at 7.30am when Murf and I were going for our morning walk.

This is where I keep my horses.

Crazy Mazie in the field wondering what the hell I was doing sitting on the wall.

This is from the field behind my house - you can just see Anglezarke Moor in the centre of the photo appearing above the trees.

Murf just watering some grass on our way to the forest.

Forest on our right, with the moor above and this watercourse is The Goit. This is our favourite evening walk.



This is Drakeshead Mere which is to the left of the previous photo.

These are my girls at sunrise (about 6.45am) and very inimpressed at having been taken out of their warm stables.



This is from the farm looking back towards Roddlesworth Moor at sunrise.

And this one is the view from the front door of my cottage up onto Anglezarke.

Being green

Well I cant really be employed by The Environment Agency and not actually try to live in a green and sustainable way, can I?

So although I dont want to bore anyone to death and come across like a loony lefty green tree hugging sandal wearing preacher of all things environmentally friendly - I thought that I would give people a few tips that I use, having spent more than a decade trying to change my lifestyle.

Some of these things, well I suppose most people do (or try to do), but one or two things Ive picked up along the way you may NOT do so here you go.

These are some of the things I do
Use energy saving bulbs in all of your light fittings (even your table lamps).

Switch electrical appliances off at the wall - dont leave them on standby.

I joined the MPS (mail preference service) which is a free service that removes your details from UK mailing lists and therefore reduces the amount of junk mail you receive - check out their website for more information

http://www.mpsonline.org.uk/mpsr/

Only fill your kettle with enough water for what you need - dont fill it up to the top if you're only making one cup of coffee or tea - a quarter of all energy used in households goes on boiling kettles.

Get a Hippo for your cistern (or a brick) and drop it in. This will reduce the amount of water used with each flush. And I heard a very funny (and handy) phrase when I watched the film "Meet the Fockers".... Dustin Hoffman proudly announced his tip for saving water when you flush... "If it's yellow, let it mellow. But if it's brown - flush it down" hahaha

Dont leave the tap running when you brush your teeth.

If you have a bath leave the water in rather than letting it run away. This will help to heat your home (believe it or not) and then when the water is cold, use it to flush your loo by filling a bucket and pouring it down the toilet instead of using the flush (this is especially great if you are on a water meter - you really will notice the difference).

If you have the option of switching over to green energy then go for it - here is their website - please check it out.

http://www.greenelectricity.org/index.php

Buy locally produced fruit, veg and meat - check where it's come from and know what is in season locally. By refusing to purchase these items that have come from overseas, not only are you helping local farmers/the local economy, you are also reducing the "food miles" and helping the environment by reducing your carbon footprint. Better still, try growing your own where possible. I grew chilis, peppers and garlic on my window ledges, and am going to make a little herb garden this year in my tiny yard.

Staying on the gardening theme - get a wormery. My worms sadly died over the horrible winter, but I will start my wormery off again in the spring. Most food waste can be put into the wormery, the worms eat it, it comes out the other end of the worm (Im being polite here so use your imagination), and you are left with a fantastically rich home made fertiliser/plant food. Perfect for your home grown fruit and veg.

Do you really need to drive? Walk or cycle if you can. Use public transport if it's practical for you rather than taking your car into town.

Im currently being a guinnea pig for a work mate who is making his own bio diesel out of used cooking oil from his local chip shops. And so far it is working a treat. Ive just put 25 litres into my old landrover and although every time I put the heating on, I feel really hungry as it smells of fish and chips (always a down side haha) it works out at a cost of around 10p a litre - which is a HUGE difference from 112p a litre for diesel.

Think about having a green roof if you have a decent roof to utilise.

Use rain butts to catch rainwater (something we definately arent short of in the UK at this time of year). I use it for washing the car, washing the dog, watering plants, and have set up a drinking system at the stables for my horses so that I have a secondary water supply when the butts are full to reduce the usage from the main water pipes.

Do you have a real fire? And do you know anyone with sheep or horses? I used to make my own fire bricks by compressing and then drying out their poo in a paper press I bought for making fire bricks out of used paper. And it actually doesnt smell as you would think it should. Saves buying coal or logs and it gives out a great heat (and its FREE).

Shop at charity shops - no better way to recycle and as we all know, everything comes back in fashion sooner or later.

Addicted to using air fresheners? Buy an essentail oil (scent of your choice - but I love lavender), pour it on a cloth and wipe your radiators with it. The scent as they start to warm up is beautiful. Also another tip is to re-use the fabric conditioner cloths that you can put in with your laundry. Roll them up and put them down the back of the radiators too once you've used them - dont just throw them away. You'll be surprised how nice they smell.

Try to reduce what you send to landfill. Buy items with a reduced amount of packaging. Recycle wherever possible - most local councils now have green waste schemes and promote recycling of paper/plastics/glass/cardboard. I only fill one black bin bag (refuse sack) every 5 or 6 weeks with things that I cannot recycle. Not bad going considering my single neigbour easily fills two per week (Im slowly trying to convince her to try my methods).

I know that there are loads more things that I do, but I also dont want to make anyone yawn - if you want some more tips to not only help save the planet but help you to save money, just give me a shout.

Re-discovering literature

I cant say that I was ever the worlds greatest fan of poetry. I found English Lit tedious when I was at school. Probably because the teacher was the most boring old fart in the world. He was just counting the days until he retired and used to plonk books in front of us, tell us to read whichever bit of Shakespeare he had picked out, and spent the entire lesson with his feet up on his desk smoking his pipe and giving us no feedback whatsoever. He sometimes even fell asleep - and we would then do what any responsible and well brought up young people would do............ start having spit ball fights and writing graffiti all over each others work books.

What a waste of 3 years of my life.

And then in my early 20's, I discovered a love of English poets that I never knew was lurking alongside the love I had (at the time) for dance music, partying, tequila and cigarettes. And although the only one of those young loves I still have is for music (it now extends beyond dance music you'll be glad to hear), my passion for poetry has just grown and grown.

I sat here musing about my favourites. What is the one poem that makes me sigh every time I read it? And I have to admit, after a long time thinking about it, I will step out onto the ledge and say it is "To Autumn" by John Keats.

For anyone who has never had the pleasure of sitting in a field in the English countryside, as summer slowly turns to Autumn, watching the farmers bailing the straw. If you have never spent time staring at the golden stalks they leave behind in the stubble fields, and havent watched the swallows diving and swooping before lining up on the telephone wires waiting to leave for the winter, the following is for you.

Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness!
Close bosom-friend of the maturing sun;
Conspiring with him how to load and bless
With fruit the vines that round the thatch-eaves run;
To bend with apples the mossed cottage trees,
And fill all fruit with ripeness to the core;
To swell the gourd, and plump the hazel shells
With a sweet kernel; to set budding more,
And still more, later flowers for the bees,
Until they think warm days will never cease,
For Summer has o'erbrimmed their clammy cells.


Who hath not seen thee oft amid thy store?
Sometimes whoever seeks abroad may find
Thee sitting careless on a granary floor,
Thy hair soft-lifted by the winnowing wind,
Or on a half-reaped furrow sound asleep,
Drowsed with the fume of poppies, while thy hook
Spares the next swath and all its twinèd flowers;
And sometimes like a gleaner thou dost keep
Steady thy laden head across a brook;
Or by a cider-press, with patient look,
Thou watchest the last oozings hours by hours.


Where are the songs of Spring? Ay, where are they?
Think not of them, thou hast thy music too, -
While barred clouds bloom the soft-dying day,
And touch the stubble-plains with rosy hue;
Then in a wailful choir the small gnats mourn
Among the river sallows, borne aloft
Or sinking as the light wind lives or dies;
And full-grown lambs loud bleat from hilly bourn;
Hedge-crickets sing; and now with treble soft
The redbreast whistles from a garden-croft;
And gathering swallows twitter in the skies.

Im so excited - Lorrie comes on Sunday !!! yayyyy

No - Im not having a hot date with someone called Lorrie (nor am I having a rather large van delivered either).

On Sunday, I shall be going with Murphy to pick up the new addition to our little Moorland family............Im getting a new dog.

She is absolutely beautiful and her name is Lorrie.

Ive always had 2 dogs, until my ex partner decided to "steal" one of them and he has point blank refused to give her back - even though she was my baby for almost 12 years. I hoped that Murphy would settle for being an "only dog" but despite me leaving it for 4 months to see how he got along on his own, he is still desperately sad without canine company. So I made the decision to get another - and to be honest, I actually miss having two of them creating merry hell in my home.

As much as I love puppies, I know a young pup isnt practical for me, and there are enough dogs in the world that nobody wants, so I decided to rehome an older dog. Then struggled with myself over which breed.

And I kept coming back to Border Collie every single time. I swore after Minstral (my other dog) that I would never have another BC because she was such a handfull when she was younger. She came from a farm at 6 months old as she was refusing to run sheep and I fell in love with her when I saw her....until she started to eat the house. Every night I came home she had done something else - like eaten the floorboards (honestly), chewed a hole in the wall, or ripped up the carpet. But they have such intelligence and personalities that I couldnt resist getting another to replace her - and besides, they are the only breed of dog that has the stamina to keep up with "himself". And he loves Border Collies - Im sure he thinks whenever he sees one that it's Minstral coming back.

Anyway - Im digressing a little here.
So I started trawling the dogs homes (but after ending up in floods of tears outside the last one I visited as I couldnt pick just one dog and leave all those other dogs with their sad faces wondering "why didnt she pick me?") I decided to check out the private rescues and rehoming centres.

And lo and behold I was put in touch with one of the top Border Collie breeders in the country who had just had one of her dogs returned to her after 6 years. I still cannot fathom why someone would turn their beloved pet over for rehoming after that length of time - I would never part with Murf - not even if it meant I had to live on the streets. He's my baby. But I am not going to start going through the whys and wherefores of the whole thing. Because at the end of the day, other people making silly decisions has resulted in me finding Lorrie.

And wait until you see some photos of her which I will post hopefully on Sunday sometime. She is a stunner. And such a lovely placid and friendly girl. She is the same age as Murf so thats a bonus, and she was also a top show champion when she was owned by her breeder and even appeared at Crufts - although the people she was sold to at 3 years old didnt do very much with her after they bought her.

Ive got her spot set out for her bed, and have bought her a new feed bowl and a lead. Murf and I bought her some Markies (a firm favourite with all dogs) but he decided that he wanted to try them to make sure they werent poisoned - and so we need to now buy another packet for Lorrie :-)

The whole village know she is coming on Sunday, and so I expect we will have a reception party waiting to meet us when we come home with her. And I really hope that she will settle here with us. Because one thing I know how to do well is love my dogs. And I think she will like us, because for the last year with her previous owners, she was locked in a house for 14 hours at a time with very little exercise.

She's going to get such a shock when she sees the farm and the woods and the open moors. And I know that Murphy is going to have her tearing round like a maniac with him chasing the chickens and the cows and hunting for rabbit in the brambles, and running after the deer up on Anglezarke Moor.

I cant stand to think that a lovely dog has been neglected in any way, so I regret to say that I will probably be spoiling her rotten with cuddles and squeaky toys and lots of loves on the sofa with me and Murf. I also have a sneaky suspiscion that he will have a quiet word with her and say "if you sneak up on the bed in the night, and give her the puppy dog eyes when she tells you to get off, she'll let you stay up there" "Oh and if you jump up and grab your lead every time she gets up out of her chair, we get an extra walk - especially if you start whining"..... I can see me being taken for a complete and utter mug.

Dogs eh? Dontcha just love 'em? :-)